Aftermath

I spent 450 days, give or take, thinking about my wedding. The celebration surrounding the act of getting married lasted about ten hours. The part where we actually said “I do” took approximately three minutes.

The process of getting married is like being in a play: There’s a production that takes months to develop. It involves a collaboration of players all of whom are focused on the opening night. An audience is present.

One of the ways it differs: opening night is closing night.

Even a showcase has a longer run.

I have now been married for 22 days and I’m still trying to get out of the mindset that there must be something else that needs to get done.

In fact, the show’s over. I can’t help but think, “Well... now what?”

I recently read of a writer who said every time he finished writing a novel, it felt as if a grand piano had been removed from the center of the living room. The room in my head that I had set aside for all things wedding-related is now sitting vacant.

I should stress that I am not unhappy about this. I’m simply adjusting.

Now I can put my attention to … cleaning up that wedding stuff piled up on the chair in the bedroom. My new husband is very curious as to why this has not yet happened. I don’t have an answer for him. I, too, thought I’d have gotten around to it by now.

I may be suffering from a case of Re-Entry Reluctance. When I was in the throes of the countdown and all of those never-ending To-Do lists, I couldn’t wait to get back to my “normal routine,” but from this vantage point, that routine includes laundry and filing. These tasks have never been my forte, admittedly. When I envisioned my newlywed status, I thought of all the reading I’d have time for again. Did I honestly forget that I have always struggled to set aside adequate time for reading? My good old days have never been chock full of quiet evenings and hot bubble baths.

It’s time to tackle all the boring chores I have never enjoyed. And while I'm busy sorting my cold wash from my warm, I'll think about the next project I have in mind. The one that takes up all my time and will fill my head with dreams for the day when I have time to do laundry again. That’s how I’ll know I’m back to my routine.